Malaysia

Those of you who have traveled to countries that require visas will surely look back fondly on the process of acquiring the visa. As a foreigner working in Thailand, I was faced with the super fun task of getting a non-immigrant "B" visa. This wouldn't have been a big deal if it just required a trip to the local immigration office. After three days arguing with various Thai officials about why they couldn't just extend my tourist visa for the 30 days that most tourist visas can be extended, I accepted that I'd have to leave the country and go to a Thai consulate and apply for my new and improved visa. The closest consulate is in Penang, Malaysia so on Monday morning circa 1 AM, I boarded a minibus bound for a country whose Prime Minister will forever be synonymous with Zoolander. The driving time to the border of Thailand and Malaysia was 7 hours and from the border it was another 2 1/2 hours to Penang. Needless to say, I arrived at the Thai consulate extremely tired, cranky, and sweaty. The Thai consulate, I should mention, is not even a building. It's a set of windows that are past a security guard and people waiting in "line" just coagulate around the windows in the usual I'm-a-foreigner-and-therefore-am-more-important-than-everyone-around-me pushiness.
After leaving the consulate, I headed to my hotel where I changed out of my comfortable, yet impractical for Southeast Asian temperature, traveling clothes (read: sweatpants) and took a delightfully long hot shower. I had to pick up my passport/visa the following afternoon so that left me with the entire day to wander around Penang. My first stop was to find a Malaysian SIM card because I had a phone date with THE Thai consulate general himself later that afternoon at 3 pm to discuss the status of my non-immigrant B visa. Since Malaysia is probably the hottest place I've ever been, and since I'd spent the past ten hours on a bus enduring the bus driver's DVD choice of Jon Bon Jovi: Live from London, I was in desperate need of something cold and caffeinated. On my way to the mall that supposedly sold Malaysian SIM cards, I stopped by a bakery that sold iced coffees. Before handing me my change, the barista asked if I wanted my iced coffee in a bag. "A bag?" I said. "Um...no thank you."
Now I digress. I need to talk about the Thai (and apparently Malaysian) Obsessive Bagging. I'm not talking about the somewhat unnecessary bagging that occurs when you buy, for example, a water and a bag of fried seaweed (because those bags are actually useful in their second life as trash bags). The first ubiquitous instance of this Thai/Malaysian Obsessive Bagging is with beverages such as iced coffees or soft drinks from 7-11 or really any beverage that already comes in its own cup. Usually these beverages already have straws poking out of them so putting them in a bag just makes no sense. First of all, the liquid in the cup is going to spill because things in plastic bags don't sit upright of their own free will (it's entropy). Second of all, if I ordered an iced coffee and it's approximately 100 degrees outside why would I want to not be drinking that cool, iced beverage ASAP? Maybe if I had a phobia of condensation then it would make sense to bag things like iced coffees. But that is not the case so...I am still confused. The second instance of the Thai/Malaysian Obsessive Bagging occurs at grocery stores or markets where individual, pre-packaged items are placed in individual miniature plastic bags and then the mass of individual plastic bags of pre-packaged items is placed in a larger plastic bag...which is then placed in my own large bag. This is confusing for a number of reasons. First of all, it's a Top Ten Time Waster to individually bag anything that is already individually wrapped unless I say, "I would like these ten candy bars placed in their own individual plastic bags." In the time it takes the two cashiers to complete this ritual (yes, there are two of them...one who individually bags everything and then another who places those bags into the larger grocery bag) I feel like a lot of other things could be accomplished. The second confusing part of the individual bagging is that there is literally no conceivable second life purpose for the miniature bags. Aside from being the perfect pooper-scooper for a dog or a bad way to wrap a present.
Now that that rant is over, I can continue with my Malaysian adventure. Having consumed the bag-less iced coffee in about 10 seconds, I continued into the Komtar tower/shopping mall whose lobby had (no joke) 40 different elevators going to the various levels.

Outside of the Komtar Tower. Completely irrelevant to anything I'm talking about, but necessary because it's an awesome poster.

One level of the shopping mall/tower was entirely dedicated to the various styles of burkas (colors, patterns, bedazzled, sequined, different fabrics, etc.). After finding and setting up my Malaysian SIM card, I decided to utilize the notes I'd taken from the NY Times travel section for Penang and started to wander around some back streets in search of a satisfactory lunch place.

The perimeter of Penang.

I ended up on Campbell street (or Lebuh Campbell as the Malaysians call it). I found a stand called Hameediyah Restaran where I ordered a chicken murtabak and the biggest water they had. The murtabak (4 ringgit, less than $2) was brought to me alongside sauteed onions and a delicious, extremely spicy curry sauce.

It was unbelievable. A curried chicken pancake satchel is the best way I can describe it. 

With my mouth on fire, I continued my walking tour of Penang...

Along the way I found Chinatown and Little India where I bought some great jewelry, examined various extremely awesome and expensive traditional silk saris, and ate the best chicken samosa I've ever had. Another of the treats of Little India was a small dessert shop I found that sold something akin to a fudge made of cashew nuts...

Instead of bins of chocolate covered everything and gummy shaped objects, Malaysia has these. Each container is full of a dried date covered in a different flavor. 

Another delicacy of Little India were these chickpeas. Although...I have to say it...why would you just put them in a bag by themselves? Seems like there should be a utensil accompanying them if they're just going to hang out at the bottom of a plastic bag.

This was a sign above a store in Chinatown. JUST envelope marketing...so don't ask for anything else.

The rickshaw...it is literally being peddled around in a wheelbarrow. Great alternative to cabs.

To end my day, I wandered by some stalls known for char koay teow (flat noodles with shrimp and bean sprouts). I ordered one for my dinner and watched the woman cook my meal...

Char koay teow = inferior paht thai (I'm biased). I ate my to-go dinner in the comfort of my air conditioned room, passed out before 8 pm and woke up the following morning 13 hours later (that's what a night of one hour of sleep on a minibus will do to you). I only had about two hours before i had to be back at the hotel to take the bus to the consulate to retrieve my passport, so I decided to make the most of it. I got a cab and headed to Burmah Road where I'd read about a Malaysian Chinese man who serves a famous pancake for 0.40 ringgit (about 10 cents in the US). I got there an hour before he opened, so I wandered around...

It was so hot that it fogged my camera lens.

No idea what this is.

I waited while the man set up his stand and watched his meticulous preparations. He wiped down the molded stove in circular patterned motions going first clockwise and then counterclockwise around the whole stovetop. The batter went in clockwise, followed by individual pieces of banana which went 1 per pancake clockwise followed by a second round of banana slices placed in a counterclockwise pattern. Then, the heat was turned down, corn kernels placed in after a couple of minutes, and then the heat was raised.

The final product made my mouth water for more. I finished my pancake (and was tempted to buy about thirty more) and headed back to the hotel and then to the consulate. After getting my passport (with the non-immigrant B visa intact...WOOHOOO!!!), I stopped by a fruit stand before going into the bus for the 10 hour drive back to Thailand. I bought a banana which I ate about an hour into the bus ride. And then I was left with the peel...which is when I realized that I could really use one of those miniature plastic bags.